A raging pandemic, gun violence, climate change — as an educational psychologist, I’ve seen firsthand how the troubling events of today are taking a toll on our children.
“It’s hard to stop thinking about bad stuff,” an 11-year-old told me recently. “Sometimes I worry about waking up.”
Without the right tools to handle adversity, hopelessness can set in and kids’ overall well-being can decline. Hope is what energizes them to stay mentally strong during tough times, and it’s what sets them apart from those who give up easily.
Mentally strong kids understand the value of hope
Research shows that hopefulness can dramatically reduce childhood anxiety and depression. Hopeful kids have an inner sense of control. They view challenges and obstacles as temporary and able to be overcome, so they are more likely to thrive and help others.
Yet despite its immense power, hope is largely excluded from our parenting agendas. The good news? Hope is teachable. One of the best ways to increase this strength is by equipping children with skills to handle life’s inevitable bumps.
Here are nine science-backed ways to help kids maintain hope — especially during tough times:
1. Stop negativity in the moment.
Ungrounded pessimism eats away at hope, which is why it’s important to help kids catch negativity before it becomes a habit. Develop a private code to signal “that’s a negative comment,” like pulling on your ear. Then encourage them to interrupt negative thoughts.
Creating a nickname for their pessimistic voice (“Mr. Negative Nelly”) can help kids control it. When your kid utters even an ounce of optimism (“I’m getting better at this.”), salute it (“Yes, I can tell you’ve been practicing!”).
2. Use hopeful mantras.
Words have great power. Help your child develop an upbeat mantra (“I got this!,” “There’s always tomorrow,” or “I’ll be okay”) to use during tough times. Then teach them to use the phrase to reduce pessimism.
You can also have your kid set their positive mantra as a phone screensaver by using quote creation platforms like Canva. Don’t forget to adopt one for yourself. Say it until your voice becomes your child’s inner voice.
I always said, “I have what it takes!” to my kids, and now they still say it as adults.
3. Teach brainstorming.
Hopeful kids don’t avoid problems. They take it head on because they’ve learned problems can be solved.
Explain to your child: “The trick to getting unstuck is to ‘spark your brain’ for solutions.” Then teach brainstorming. One trick is to use the S.T.A.N.D. acronym to help kids recall the steps:
- Slow down so you can think.
- Tell your problem.
- Ask: “What else can I do?”
- Name everything you could do to solve it without judgements.
- Decide the best choice and do it.
4. Share hopeful news.
Hopeful kids hear hopeful stories. Violent media can create a view of the world as completely mean, scary dangerous. Uplifting news keeps children’s hope alive.
Look for inspiring news stories to share with your kids from time to time. Institute a bedtime review of the good parts about each person’s day to help your kids find the bright side of life…….