Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis are two sides of the same coin. They are the Darkside Brothers. Donnie inspired Ronnie, who copied his style of throwing bombs at “the Libs” and red meat to the base. Ronnie projects a more polished, establishment image minus all of Donnie’s legal baggage and trashy conduct. Ronnie is more clean-cut and palpable to most people, but the problem is he doesn’t like people. Both men embrace the same dark and cynical political strategy of actually courting and not calling out white supremacists and QAnon conspiracy theorists. They’ve both relished pouring gasoline on the fire of the culture war, stoking hate, division, resentment, and grievance without any concern for the possible dire consequences that can result from their inflammatory and hyper-polarizing rhetoric.
While Donnie has, for quite a while, been using violence-normalizing language to threaten his opponents at his rallies, Ronnie favors the option of utilizing law enforcement, his election police unit, and now his proposed Florida State Guard to threaten and possibly even arrest those opposed to his policies. His intent is to discourage dissent, which he definitely does not like. Incredibly, the State Guard, a proposed 1,500-man unit, would be under his personal control. This unnecessary entity, comprised of civilian volunteers, and undoubtedly staffed by DeSantis partisans, could be deployed for whatever politically motivated and authoritarian whim he has like suppressing peaceful political protests, strikes, or walkouts. Ronnie’s personal brown shirts-style force would have broad powers to arrest and silence political critics. There’s never a dull moment living in the “Free” state of Florida and lately, there’s been a fire hose of shocking milestones coming at citizens of the Sunshine State. Florida is “free” these days as long as you stay quiet and agree with everything Ronnie Boy says and does. And don’t forget that his lieutenants and shock troops are watching.
Both Donnie and Ronnie Darkside have clear and natural authoritarian tendencies and revel in projecting themselves as strongmen not to be messed with. They are both obsessed with looking tough. Their similar styles and policies and reverence for authoritarian leaders such as Vladimir Putin of Russia and Victor Orban of Hungary have revealed their anti-democratic leaning. While Ronnie hasn’t yet called on suspending the Constitution or rejected the certified results of a free and fair election like Trump did, just give him some time, he may not disappoint us in this department.
Although, it’s become clear that Donnie, as whining and bloviating as he comes across most of the time, still scores more points at selling his tough guy bonafide than Ronnie. Maybe it’s Ronnie’s contrived and unrhythmic delivery on stage, the platform shoes, or the pitch of his voice or the Yale background; and for the record, there is nothing wrong with Yale or with platform shoes if that’s your thing. But in the world of GOP politics, they may, I stress may, be a liability. In the end, it’s probably a combination of things that betray his thinly-wrapped bravado. Ronnie, like Donnie, is notoriously insecure and concerned about being outshined by others. His handlers are often instructed to keep other prominent GOP figures and actual strong guys from sharing the spotlight and upstaging him.
For example, Rep. Greg Steube, was told that he couldn’t go on stage and stand beside the Governor at a Hurricane Ian recovery event last September, after being asked to attend. Politics 101: you always invite a local representative from your own party and a member of the US Congress up on stage with you…duh. Like his MAGA politics or not, you’d have to admit that Steube certainly has a much more macho persona than Ronnie. Steube was insulted and fuming after getting snubbed by the Governor. Steube also told Politico’s Playbook that Ronnie hasn’t reached out to him once in 5 years, not even after his chainsaw accident. Wow! Ronnie DeSantis, by most accounts, is reportedly terrible at retail politics and personal relationship-building behind the scenes. There are lots of these stories, but consistent with this picture Ronnie never personally tried to secure Steube’s support. Steube has consequently decided to support Donnie in 2024.
Those that have interacted with Ronnie over the years describe him as cold and awkward, as someone who struggles to project any personal warmth to others. Apparently, it’s always been all about Ronnie, which strangely sounds a lot like Donnie who is probably just better at faking it. Now, other local and state GOP officials are following the Steube trend, with Vern Buchanan being the latest to jump back on the Trump Train and take a pass on Ronnie, the Warrior-against-Woke-Tyranny.
Speaking of woke, both Donnie and Ronnie Darkside think they have hit the lottery with this woke thing. They’ve both been squeezing every ounce of political juice out of it that they can. Since it seems to be the only theme they are running on, I’ve got a great mash-up of a slogan either could use… “Don’t Say Gay, MAGA, MAGA, MAGA, Welcome to Lake Wokebegone.” This will be the thrust of their campaigns, for sure, so you’re welcome. Their warm woke security blanket has served them well, but it seems to be wearing thin now. Americans are getting tired of the hollow, rhetorically-lazy tactic. “Woke” just let’s them conveniently group together all the things that they don’t like and that make them feel uncomfortable. They stretch it to mean so much that it really doesn’t mean anything at all now.
Woke is: 1) The rights and value of LGBTQ American lives; they have become the favorite strawmen and grooming boogeymen for far-right-QAnoners and school board trolls. Worse, this group has become a bigger target for bigots and fascists emboldened by discriminatory policies and legislation. 2) African American studies courses that ask tough questions and take an in-depth look into the era of slavery, reconstruction, and the Jim Crow segregation eras. You see, to Donnie and Ronnie, teaching and learning about all of American history is bad. Only the good parts, please. 3) SEL (Social, Emotional, Learning) programs designed to encourage tolerance, cooperation, and a decrease in bullying are all on the chopping block in Ronnie’s “Free” Florida. But remember, Ronnie is OK with bullying and famously enjoys bullying masked Florida high school students. God forbid we would keep SEL programs and encourage kids to be understanding, kind, and tolerant of one another in these divisive times. 4) And everything else under the sun that relates to equal rights for women and minorities, cooperation, empathy, and general social progress made over the last 65 years.
Donnie and Ronnie both also enjoy getting into dumb petty fights with anyone who dares question their statements or policy positions. Remember they’re bullies, I mean tough guys. They can’t pass up a chance to insult and belittle someone, it’s a classic Darkside brothers move. Whether punching down at smaller players with unnerving glee or manufacturing pointless beef with major corporations and sports teams, Donnie and Ronnie seemingly can’t wait to get into public scrums any chance they get. Usually, it’s over some culture war issue that 65-75% of Americans support, but they reflexively take the other side on.
Another one of those issues, that is supported by an overwhelming majority of Americans yet they both find themselves on the wrong side of, is women’s reproductive freedom. While Trump previously flip-flopped on this issue, as he does on most issues, they both are fervently anti-abortion in 2023. Ronnie takes the prize though, pushing the extremes with his 6-week ban that will criminalize doctors, criminalize anyone else assisting the woman, and will cruelly punish thousands of grief-stricken women across the state who experience fertility and pregnancy complications. His law is certain to cost many of them their lives. How either of the Onnies thinks this issue will help them with independents and moderate Republican women in a general election, it’s anyone’s guess.
So, it seems these two guys are the front runners for the GOP nomination in 2024, two sides of the same coin. Really? There has been a civil war brewing within the party for a while, I just can’t figure out how the more level-headed, moderate faction represented by the likes of Nikki Haley, former Gov. Asa Hutchinson, Gov. Larry Hogan, and Gov. Chris Sununu hasn’t won more support. And I’m not saying anyone has to like President Biden and vote for him in 2024, but these two Neanderthals, really? This is the cream of the crop from the Party formerly represented by statesmen like Lincoln, T. Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Reagan, McCain, and George Bush senior? Do Donnie and Ronnie embody true Christian values the party historically upheld as characteristics of a good conservative leader? Do they exhibit any of the traits of courage (false bravado does not count for courage), temperance, humility, grace, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy seen in past esteemed national leaders? Most people would say no.
Starting with the one and only Donnie Darkside, the world’s worst role model for personal behavior for children ever; the most personally flawed and morally bankrupt person in the era of modern politics: this is the guy who committed financial fraud to cover up an affair with a porn star and lied about doing it…fact; the guy who dangled delivery of millions in American aid to shake down the Ukrainian President for dirt on his opponent in 2020…fact; lied to the American people about the election results, blatantly tried to steal the U.S. election through fake elector schemes and other tactics, promoted and allowed an insurrection to occur, and has continued to foment division not seen in this country since the 1850s… all facts.
This is the hero of the GOP? The man who is staring at a beefy, variety-basket of legal jeopardy, one or two or three cases of which are likely to yield indictments, convictions, and jail time? No one is above the law, right? News flash for everyone, the prosecutors in the multitude of cases pending have collected tons of damning testimony, real facts and evidence, there are real charges, there will be real testimony, to real juries, presided over by judges in real courtrooms, and it is really likely he will go to jail for at least one of these. So strap in MAGA fans because it’s going to be a wild ride on Donnie’s Reality-Comes-Home-to-Roost Roller Coaster. Ahh heck, it’s already been a wild ride, right? Just a reminder, Al Capone went to jail for tax evasion. So, after all of that, this is still the guy in 1st place right now, Donnie Darkside Trump? Wow.
In 2nd place, by a mile, is his brother Ronnie Darkside the architect of Florida’s hard right turn into Extreme Cruelty Land. Maybe that can be the name of the theme park he opens up in Orlando to compete with the House of Mouse, which crossed Ronnie by standing up for gay people. Ok, Ronnie’s list is long here: A six-week abortion ban… cruel and unusual; Don’t Say Gay Bill…homophobic; undermining public education with his universal voucher programs; trying to wreck Florida’s economy by going after and punishing businesses employing undocumented workers…most sectors of Florida’s economy rely heavily on these workers; going to war with Florida’s biggest economic engine, The Disney Corporation…just dumb; banning books…straight out of the dark ages, and setting up his very own personal military force to do his bidding…equally galling and frightening.
There is no doubt that the culture wars have fired up the far-right base, but they are rapidly burning down support from moderates and independents who will be needed by the Republican nominee to actually win the Presidential election. Whether it’s the issue of abortion, gun laws and gun safety, LGBTQ rights, voting rights, or defending democracy, the reality is the two Onnies are significantly out of step with mainstream America. Yet, here we are.
The deepening feud and ongoing antics of the Donnie & Ronnie Darkside brothers, while somewhat entertaining to watch them try to out-cruel and out-Trump one another, is actually a menacing experience for most Americans to live through. While their bases of support represent the minority of Americans overall, it’s a sizable, very vocal, and increasingly anti-democratic segment of the population. Donnie and Ronnie’s dark grip on their Party, to this point, is an indication that the United States still has more ground to cover in moving away from the darkness and toward a brighter future, one welcoming of all Americans. The Darkside Brothers undermine our collective future and take us backward. We need leaders who will bring us forward and not vanquish the progress we’ve made together. We are a great country, but the job is not finished. It is always a work in progress.